She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
