I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
