So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
