I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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