nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
