rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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