On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
