Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
