I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
