Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
