it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
