Quick, to the slutcave!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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