No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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