SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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