You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
