Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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