I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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