We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Soap is not a condiment
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
