You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
