So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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