I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
