with your own penis?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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