I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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