quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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