i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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