Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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