Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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