So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
