Moan for me like Helen Keller
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
