I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
