i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
