Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I deserve this hangover.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
