i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
