How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
