I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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