Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
