I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
