Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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