Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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