i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
