and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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