i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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