PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
