Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my phone needs a breathalizer
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
