Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
