my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
third nipple confirmed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
