You just made me feel so damn special
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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