I look better un-naked...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
