Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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