Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
