If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
