please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
